April's Tweet Sweep

I got Twitter. And it is so very dangerous… all those things I think when I am alone in public… can now instantly be sent to anyone who dares to come along for the ride. Oh the joy it will bring.  These Tweet Sweeps… are really for those not on twitter… which I can understand… so I’ll give you a lil taste of what you’ve been missing…  Below you will find April’s highlights – some that may need some explanation… and others that are stand alone gems.

If we are manually splitting a check, do not EVER change MY charge total because I don't tip well enough for you! – This happened. Some boy changed my total, without asking, and then was bout to turn it in… So rude. Poor child had never seen that side of me, cause I let him have it, but you don’t play with other peoples money.

I love how these reality show single moms think they are some shinning example of parenthood while LEAVING their child for like 4 months... – I love me some Tasia, but I was thinking about this… who is taking care of your child when you are on TV, in the confessional crying about how you miss your child so much, and are doing this for him/her. Damn… and it’s even worse if you don’t win… cause you failed... ouch.

UMM! Student drivers should NOT be on the highway during rush hour. Seriously. Legislation!!

To the old man sleeping on this park bench using his shoes and socks as a pillow... I see what you're doing, but I don't like it. - "Winter feet" just all in plain view.

I wonder what one legged people do with all the shoes they never use? Or do you think they get a 1 shoe discount? – I was so wrong for thinking this on the metro when I saw that one legged woman… it’s one of those things you’d think of when you’re high… but I couldn’t help it.

Thank you Mr Custodian. After seeing you approach that Cinnabon counter plunger first, you helped me save a couple bucks, and some calories.

Some people are like rubber chickens... Fun for a festive laugh, but when the party's over, you have absolutly no use for them.

Parents: the decorative fountain at the front of your subdivision is NOT a public pool. – yes. I saw this…

Shirts that boldly insinuate a willingness and desire to have sex should only come in select sizes. Your XXXL shirt should not display your XXX desires. LEGISLATION!!!